it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
