she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
is wine microwaveable?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
