You can't motorboat a personality
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
