He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
