dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
