I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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