i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
