The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
