Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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