She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
