i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
