a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
