my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
