I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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