He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
