So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
