Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
