her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
