he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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