Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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