it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Green mimosas i think yes
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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