I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
