Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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