Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
