dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
