Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
