i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
