Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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