headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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