I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
