So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
