He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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