you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
