This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
