no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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