i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
