two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
