I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
