We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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