The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
