Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
