you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
