Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
