You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We are all done wearing pants today
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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