I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
