: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
