dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just forgot I was standing up.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
