Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
