highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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