Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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