a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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