just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
