I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
