I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
