Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
