i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
