He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I am naked and annoyed.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
